Gee whiz Betty!
I wasn't horsing around when I said I was done with all of this!

Straw please

Betty should have been more specific when she told match.com she wanted to ride off into the sunset with her Prince Charming

We have been on the date for 5 min and already you think I am a horses azz

Who would have thought saying I wanted to date a "stud" on Match.com would get me this?

Give her the bill, I have no pockets.

You can lead a horse to a bar and you don't have to make him drink.

Horse: I'm as hungry as a horse.
Woman: If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one...

"No, I'm only having the one beer - if I have too many of them, well, me being a racehorse and all..."

"Do you think maybe after dinner we could go back to my place and horse around?"

Would you like any hors d'oeuvres?

Betty's reality when she lost her glasses that perform miracles.

"Sorry you are disappointed...but maybe next time you place an add, proof if properly. It DID say your were looking for someone with a big smile, dark hair, enjoys running, and working in the BRIDLE Industry a plus."

"My wife doesn't understand me. All she ever does is nag, nag, nag."

"Oh, I LOVE children's literature - especially Whinny the Pooh."

"I'm sorry, I guess I forgot to mention I'm a gelding..."

"And that is straight from the horses mouth"

Server: You know, we don't get too many horses in here.

Horse: And at these prices, I can understand why.

Kind of sweet, but with a nutty taste. A rare bouquet, I would say.

I actually prefer wine, but Toby Keith only allows beer for his horses.

"And that 'So a horse walks into a bar ' joke - not funny. Not funny at all."

"When your ad said 'Into whips and spurs', I just thought...well...let's see"

" Your ad DID say you were looking for a stable relationship."

"If you'd just take this thing off my head we could go back to my room and experience unbridled passion."

Sow, I'm thinking about the "wild oats" special on the menu.

Horse to woman, the more I drink the better you look! The woman to the horse, why such a long face then.

Horse to woman. Don't worry I got free condoms from Obamacare.

This beer is terrible. Take it back and bring me a triple Crown and soda.

"Well, my great-great-great-great grandfather was convicted of eating the kings grain, and was executed on the gallows... perhaps that's where the phrase came from?"

Lady to the server: Sorry - he is such a horses A$$

"I don't think going dancing later is such a good idea, I really do have 2 left feet."

I haven't read a bad caption yet but LW, you keep coming up with quite a few good ones. I like this one too. Very clever. My conpliments.

"Dessert? Well, I know most horses will eat just any old doughnut, but not me. My dessert pastries need to be be long and braided. I guess I'm just that 'horse of a different cruller' you've heard about."

No sir, we do not serve hay by the bale.

It's been 32 years since we did the bedroom scene in the movie "Airplane!" Here's looking at you kid.

And what can I get for you, Mr. Ed?

The horse says! "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

"What have I done? Mostly summer stock, but my big break was playing Khartoum, Jack Woltz's horse in the stable scenes in "The Godfather". But then I got real sick, so Coppola had my brother fill in for me in the later scene. God rest his soul."

I cant be the designated driver tonight

A few more of these and you'll be looking like st. Paulies girl!

Mike Royko was right, this beer does taste like it was brewed through a horse!

Can you direct me to the restroom? This beer is going right through me, I've gotta pee like a race horse.

How about we blow this place and ill take you for a ride on my pony

Don't worry after a few of these, I'll look like the stud, I said I was on my dating profile.

[horse to waitress] and then I says to her, I says "horses don't drive, I can have as many as I want!" [hahah]

So where were we? Oh yes ; my ex was a real night Mare!

Ed didn't now that he was putting the last nail into the coffin of their relationship when he quipped, "Are you giving me an ulti-NEIGH-tum?"