Hey republican --- I will not go back to the dark ages!!! Enlighten yourself!!

"Hon, I think you want the Holly Wood and Vine app."

Your just not with it Tarzan. I've downloaded the drum app so you can pound out your messages.

"Tarzan take picture, Jane make duck face. Friends think Jane funny."

Here, use my phone to vine what your looking for.

Mitt dear it's Obama , he wants to congratulate you on your election victory. Bye bye Obama .

Trazan, save your voice. There is an app to make your Tarzan calls.

Cheetah wants you to bail him out of jail again.

Mitt dear, Its for you, IRS wants to know how you get away with paying a less percentage then the middle class. Also, the trib called and said they would like to do a story on the record you now hold for flip flopping more than anyone ever to run for office!!

It's your tailor...

Watch what you write or you will be censored?

If Congressman Anthony Weiner had been King of the Jungle - "Listen, Honey, I have no idea how those texts and pictures got there, but I've got to hurry. I've got a vine to catch."

There's an app for that.

Me have question about creepy pictures of you and Cheetah me found on your phone.

Sexting? Without pockets, where do I put that thing?

Swing on vine again? There's an ape for that

Well, considering the internet won't be invented for another million years, I really don't care how much you saved at the store, you idiot.

We lost our home and have to live in a tree and yet Obama is calling asking us to contribute to his reelection campaign.

Honey, try using google maps using the vine route this time.

"Honey, it's the DNC again. They need us to help fill up seats at the Obama convention in Charlotte".

First a Smart Phone, now a Data Plan, REALLY???

This works on satellite, dear. No need to put the telephone vine back up.

Tarz, it is Trump again. You can't run for "King of the Jungle" until you supply the long form of your birth certificate and the names of animals that found you in the jungle. He claims he needs proof you were born in the jungle.

"Barry, some bad news. Somebody found your academic transcrips. Time for major damage control"

PETA is on the phone. They say you shouldn't put Ape on top of Shep when we go for the twelve hour trip from the jungle to the beach. It may cause Ape to get sick.

It says you Checked in at The Furry Cheetah

Your mother called. Swing over to tree 928 to pick her up for dinner tonight.

Siri say she no understand "AAAAAaaaaAAAAaaaaAAAAAaaAAAAA!".

Biology and the prejudices of others conspired to keep us childless.

"Mitt, it's Biden again. Now he wants to know why the 1% only pays 90% of the federal taxes".

I'd appreciate if didn't just drop in and called before you swing by!

Give it back Eve...remember where the last Apple got us.

Jane: Tarzan who is this other cave woman?
Tarzan: Jane honey, I don't know what your talking about.
Jane: Oh you don't HUH, well why is she tagging you in a post on Facebook of you dragging her by her hair?
Tarzan: Um Uhh Uhh Um, well.....
Jane: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TARZAN. I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE YOU DRAGGED AROUND!!!!!!!
TARZAN: But Tarzan love Jane......
Jane: YOU KNOW WHAT JUST GO AHEAD AND SWING ON OUT
OF HERE. I'M DONE SWINGING THRU THESE JUNGLES WITH YOU!!!!!!

Princess.. it's an electric razor.. my sexual fantasy of role playing Tarzan didn't mean you had to grow a mustache!

We have that yet we don't have fire yet.

Here. Try the pilates app. I think you could use it.

Take the phone and pull a TARZAN swing closer to the tower........Maybe you can get a better signal.......This reception stinks!!

I'll bet Army of None has no proof the top 1% paid only 25-30 % of federal taxes during the past 6 years. And besides, It was Biden that said 90%. Read more carefully.

Seriously?!? You got a 4S? You DO know the 5 is coming out next week right?

Honey, it's Sarah Palin. She's calling to say she can see our tree house from her house in Alaska. She also wants to know if you want to go moose hunting with her.

Honey some guy named Paul Ryan is blaming you for closing down the wheel factory in my town.

Swing over to CHINA to the warranty center and pick me up a new phone.

You voted for "Hope and Change", now all we have left is this dumb iPhone that keeps asking us to donate to Michelle Obama's vacation fund..

Why don't you just ask Siri?

***Your chimp*** is at it again. He just ordered 500 lb of bananas on the Peapod app.

You want to tell me who village girl is that's texting you? Just where have you been swinging lately?

Mitt, the producers from "Survivor" called. They said you won't be able to be a contestant for the upcoming season. However they did say to try out for "Real World: Kongo"

Hey Tarz. BE CAREFUL; I know you're a real swinger,
but NO cellphones while swinging.

" It's the Occupy Wall tree movement. They say they want to occupy our tree b/c we have too many coco nuts "

Like I told you honey, this iPhone can do a lot of things but it doesn't have a "Shrink your Schnoz" app.

It's Nancy Pelosi...she says she has another joke for you about Obamacare.

Hillary: " Okay Bill, why do you still have this old video of YOU and Monica in the Oval Office together on your fancy phone ? "

Go get me a phone cover that matches what I am wearing.

Look what I stole next year