He's looking for a coca cola. Do we have any left from the party?

Al Gore was right!

He's obivously a republican bear.

"He's looking to join your bi-polar support group."

"Tell the eel-say to run out the ack-bay oor-day!"

"She has an order of protection...it seems Gentle Ben wasn't so gentle, after all."

"He's lost and hungry. Do we have any extra pets for him to eat?"

"Well, that answers the age old question. Dear, she'd like to use our bathroom."

"This Grizzly says he's taking up a collection because the world printer ran out of ink again."

I think he's hungry. Go find L W Sagan.

"It's Smokey's cousin, Melty. He keeps saying only we can prevent global warming."

I swear to you honey, I just only ordered a case of klondike bars and not the bear.

He wants to know if Suzy's teddy can come out to play.

"Her cub is having trouble feeding, she wants to know if we have any cans of Ice-omil."

'He says the eskimo's house keeps cracking apart, so he was sent to see if they could borrow some ig-glue."

It's a den mother looking for one of her cub scouts.

He says since we are ruining his habitat he would like to return the favor.

"He wants to know if he can borrow some ice - about 1.32 million square miles of it."

Your Mother is here

"Do you remember that bear claw you just had to have at the fair? Well, 'Lefty' here would like a word with you."

"Well, ICEE Bear wants to move back home with us. It seems they fired him because he had some kind of meltdown at work..."

He wants to know if we're like Snickers...soft on the outside but crunchy on the inside.
I think he's hungry.

"He wanted you to know that Hell has finally frozen over, so it's ok to bet on the Cubs to win the World Series."

"He's looking for Oliver Stone - he says he has proof that Knut's drowning wasn't an accident."

He wants to know if we have a Polar Ice Cap he can wear.

Bravo to LW Sagan. Your brother Carl got the smarts and you got the sense of humor.

"It's some sort of scam. He claims he's lost and trying to get cab fare back to Cuba Marsh Forest Preserve...but just looking at him, you can tell he's not a Barrington Bear."

It's very true sweetheart and there's no disputing it! There is global warming.

"I keep telling him, your name is Nan Nook...not Nanook."

And LWS rolls on, and on! Go for it LW!

"He says we could reduce global warming by half if we could just get Al Gore to stop talking."

Have we got a Coke?

He wants to know if he can brrow our woods.

Wow honey when I asked for a beer I meant the kind I drink. Well played Wife.

"Honey, did you order an organic free-range bear rug?"

'He says the Charmin Ultra bears are liars; and he wants to know if he can borrow some wet wipes."

You didn't tell me your mother was coming to visit...

"She claims her protection failed her, and when she told Yogi that there was a little boo-boo, and in about 7 months there would be a little Boo-Boo, he kicked her out of the cave. So there she stands, bearfoot and pregnant."

"Sorry Mary, but Carmichael needs a place to stay."

HE NEEDS A RIDE TO CHICAGO,HE TRYING OUT FOR A OFFENSE LINE POSITION,

He's a door to door carpet salesman who says he gives his customers the shirt off his back.

It's Bearack Obearma. He's running for mayor of Geneva.

Honest honey, he can't be my long lost son. We don't even have the same eye brows!

Really Sally, is this your date? I told you Dad, he was a "Bear of a man".

He wants to know if he can hibernate in our spare room this winter.

What is the personalzed print from Chuck Ingwerson? I won the April 18, 2012, contest with the "Add the Punchline to Our Shark Restaurant Cartoon", but, never got anything except an email of the cartoon.....not sure what you really win here....any other winners out there? Hey Chuck, you gonna send me my personalized print?

He wants to know if we have accepted Jesus as our Savior.

He is the new mascot for selling door to door vacuum cleaners, he wants to come in and demonstrate how well it picks up pet hair

"It's Tom Selleck/John Moreli/Vera Volpe Argentata/Pro-Life Crusader/The Disciple in a bear suit. He just wanted to make sure we knew that virtually every evil and every bad thing since the beginning of time is entirely Obama's fault."

The Patch reporter is here to do another police blotter story.
Did anything get stolen this week?

Goldilocks huh?

So that's where all the porridge went

Ok that's it mama bear. You're cut off from the ham radio!

I knew those turds in the backyard were too big to come from Scruffy.

Says he is from Congress to deliver the bear market.

"It's the old Soviet bear - he says now that there are 4 more years of rampart socialism coming down the pipeline, he'd like to move into his share of our house."

"That's it. You are cut off from Ebay."

Wow, talk about misleading ads, when I ordered a bear skin rug from Overstock.com, it never mentioned it would arrive still attached to the bear! That's the last time I go shopping looking for a "beargin" on Black Friday!

"Look, Honey - It's Beary White"

" He says the Arctic Circle must have an enlarged prostrate because he has noticed a significantly reduced floe."

" He wants to know how to grow iceberg lettuce."

"He's wants to hire me as his lawyer, claims that he's innocent and it's all a misunderstanding. After Thanksgiving he told the other bears he was feeling a little husky; now they've charged him with being a pet-ophile."

"I asked her why she's convinced that my family are descendents from Eskimos; she claims it's just her woman's Inuit-ion."

"He's here because he read your Craigslist personal describing what you would do-ooo-ooo... for a Klondike Bar."