And to think I'm missing Lassie for this!

You should have went with the 500.00 bet George, now sit!

Does this mean that I get the keys to the car, his place at the dinner table, and the TV controller in the man cave?

"I love opposite day! When does he get neutered?"
or
"Did you bring the bag?"

I bet he can't lick him self like I can.

I'm trying to get him to stop chasing cats and barking at squirrels.

"Him? Oh, yesterday he was a election pollster for Gallup."

"Well, Barney Stinson says inter-species wingmen are all the rage."

"Ann, Michelle and I don't think it's necessary for Mitt to do this."

"You see, Mother, while I have easily mastered training him to stay off the couch, and feep the food bowl area clean, training him to walk without pulling or chasing squirrels is the REAL trick."

He doesn't act like a dog, doesn't look like a dog, why do you keep calling him Dog?

This is the new breed of service humans.

"My big break arrives when YOU TUBE discovers this"

Man--"So you said this is a full body workout? I can't really feel it." Dog- "Yeah, just five more blocks. Pick up your knees. Its called hustling my friend. We've got some ground to cover. I'm having kibbles n bits with Roscoe next door at half past eleven."

I told you to walk the dog, not walk like a dog.

Did you have Mexican for dinner?

He's in training to accept the next four years...

....And see how responsive they can be with positive reinforcement?

The "NO PETS ALLOWED" sign is not for us.

How do you like prong collars now?

Dog to woman, "careful
Ma'am, Sir Seville will hump your leg if you get too close!"
Or
Political training once only required you to be able to lie....now it's lie down, sit, roll-over, fetch....

"Honey, I told you that Brian on Family Guy wasn't probably the best role model."

can we keep it?

I'll bag it, but I ain't wiping him

Eeeaaasssy barack. don't choke him early. I think we got a lame one here, kind of looks like a newt. keep him crawling, keep him alive until the election then you can take off your stupid upside down batman face, I can wash this pasty white stuff off my face, get my hair done right and we can get America going again. g.l.2.00

Karma my friend...have you changed your opinion on shock collar training yet??? Really, when you think about it, the toilet bowl LOOKS just like a giant water bowl....ZAP!!!

Do you really think we can get cheaper medical bills by going to the vet?

Yeah, he is still just a puppy and today was Taco Bar Tuesday at his office so you may want to be on the North end of a South bound train if you get my drift.....

We are on our way home now, he didn't do well with the tree.

or, Wanna trade now, I am tired of the view.